PostPartum: The First Two Weeks

Having now been a new mama for almost 2 whole months, I have learned quite a bit about being a new mama. I am no pro at this and I continue to learn new things everyday. There were things that I knew I would experience like no sleep, lots of cuddles, lots of dirty diapers, playing dress-up, etc. However, there are some things that I wish I would have know before I welcomed my sweet daughter into the world. Things that would have made my first two weeks a tiny bit easier.

I decided to dedicate this post to new mamas or any mamas that are expecting. Here are the tips and tricks that I have learned that I hope might be beneficial to others that are going to experience the same thing!

1.EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT

I am part of some new mom groups and there are so many mamas posting questions and needing help. I think this is perfect for when you might be looking for advice or need help with a certain problem. However, too often I see mamas trying to compare their babies with others. This leads to them thinking something is wrong with their parenting, something is wrong with their baby, or simply, they feel like failures. I have learned that no two babies are alike. Take advice. Try new things. But just trust your gut. You know your baby better than anyone else. You carried that babe with you for 9 months. You’ve got this!

2. PAPER PLATES FOR THE WIN

Every mama makes a birthing plan before giving birth hoping that they will have the perfect birth and it will end up just like they imagined. However, if you are like me, my birthing experience was nothing like I planned or imagined. I ended up having an unexpected c-section which meant that I was undergoing a pretty serious surgery and I would need time to recover. Even if you don’t have a c-section, you are still going to be exhausted and you are going to want time to recover. Those first two weeks, Isaac and I let our dishes pile up because it wasn’t a top priority for us as we were trying to figure out this whole new parenting thing. Isaac was busy helping me do all the things I couldn’t do and helping me take care of our sweetie pie. So, save yourself the trouble of trying to find a clean plate or utensil and dishes piling up…just use paper plates!! Make sure you have tons on hand. You will thank yourself afterwards. Trust me!

3. NO EXPECTATIONS

Seriously mama! Don’t give yourself any expectations. That will just make you more overwhelmed and stressed out. Babies can sense what you are feeling. If you are stressed, they are stressed. The only expectation you need is to love on your baby as much as possible. Enjoy the cuddles, the naps, the new milestones, watching your baby grow, the millions of pictures you’ll take. Nothing else is more important than that. You are building your baby a foundation that they will use the rest of their lives.

4. FUSSY BABIES

Our pediatrician warned us that sometimes babies just need to cry. The systems in their body are continuing to develop and their bodies may need to cry it out. This WILL break your mama heart!! But don’t fret. There are some things that you can do to help when your sweet little babe is crying or fussing too much. You can take them outside for a little sunshine. I don’t know why but they seem to like that. Give them a nice, warm, relaxing bath. We usually give little Rachel a bath right before bed because it does help her to relax and sleep better. Sometimes putting them in a swing works wonders. Some babies, like mine, love white noise! It annoys the heck out of me, but she likes it, so we put it on. And sometimes all you can do is cuddle and love of them. Don’t worry about spoiling them right now. They just really need the love- that is how they build their trust in you.

5. MAMA TEARS

Holly molly. I don’t know if it was all the hormones that I still had or if it was baby blues. Maybe it was the little sleep I got. But I found myself having a little cry sesh almost every day during that first week. And because I cried often, I would get even more upset with myself. I would think what is wrong with me? LOL My tears often came because I was overwhelmed with all the changes or because Rachel would keep crying and I didn’t know how to calm her. Or simply because I was sleep deprived and not used to getting little to no sleep. Sometimes I would cry just because my baby is so beautiful and I have so much love for her. Cut yourself some slack. It is OKAY to cry. It is okay to release your emotions. Let it out when you need to and don’t feel bad about it.

6. SWADDLING

The baby blankets you get that are called receiving blankets are NOT swaddling blankets. They are not big enough and your babe will be out in seconds. I do recommend getting bigger blankets. Some babies like to be completely swaddled with their arms super tight. Some babies will hate the swaddle if both of their arms are in it. That is Rachel to a T. The only way she will be swaddled is if I leave one arm in and one arm out. I don’t know why that works but it does and she likes it that way. Some babies like the weighted swaddles that are newer. Find what works for your baby but swaddling does work wonders.

7. DON’T FORGET COLACE

I am not even kidding about this one! The nurses give you colace when you are in the hospital which is great. But once you leave the hospital, it is up to you if you want to keep taking it. TAKE IT!! You can thank me later. This may be TMI but passing your first bowel movement is not pretty. You almost feel like you are giving birth all over again. Save yourself the pain and the struggle, take colace up until you have that first bowel movement.

8. MATERNITY LEAVE IS NOT A VACATION

Don’t go into your maternity leave thinking that it will be like a vacation and that you will have lots of time for all of your little projects. Motherhood is a LOT of work but it is so rewarding! You’ll be rewarded frequently with baby smiles and cuddles. Spending time with your little love bug is the most productive and important thing you can be doing during that time. Your babe needs that just as much as you do!

These are just some of the things that I have learned on this beautiful journey. I am so grateful to be a mother and to be taught by my little girl. She is great at letting me know when something isn’t going well. LOL I hope that this helps some new mamas as they embark on this wonderful adventure.

The most important thing you can remember during this time of transition and change is… YOU’VE GOT THIS! YOU ARE A GREAT MAMA! YOUR BABY IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU!

Stay tuned for more mama tips and tricks…

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Learn to LOVE your Life!

2021 is already a year for the books!!

Some might think that this year is going to trump 2020 and be so much worse. But to me, it is all about perspective and how you choose to see it.

On the 17th of January, our sweet little ray of sunshine, Rachel, entered our lives. She is what makes this year already one of my favorites!🌞

My birthing experience was not at all what I had hoped for or expected. It was even a little traumatic for me. But the joy I felt when Isaac handed me our beautiful daughter for the first time made it all 100% worth it. Even the traumatic parts!!

One of my challenges since giving birth has been nursing. I know that many new mamas can relate. What you think would be so natural and easy is actually quite difficult. It is frustrating and daunting at times. It is a lot of new learning for both mama and baby.

BUT! Because I chose to be a breastfeeding mommy, I get to spend a plethora of hours, one on one, skin to skin, with my little sweetie. That makes all the challenges worth it. I love taking that time to speak positive affirmations to my daughter, I love reading to her while nursing and I absolutely positively love to sing to her while she has this time with me.

I’ll admit that I am not a perfect mom and that sometimes I just scroll on social media or I just binge watch one of my favorite shows. Not every moment I have with my daughter is spent focusing on her. 😅 But sometimes that is okay too. The time that I do spend with her, I am forming a great bond and connection with my little angel.

Just the other day I decided I was going to make a playlist for Rachel of positive, uplifting songs that I want her to remember later on. I can use this playlist when we are hanging out or when I am singing to her while I nurse. Some of these songs include: “Just the Way You Are”, “Don’t You Worry Child”, “My Wish”, “I am a Child of God”…..

One song that I also added is titled “Love Your Life” by Hillary Weeks. As I sat listening to this song and looking down at my pretty girl, I thought about all of the reasons that I love my life. I love my wonderful husband who is the biggest support. I love that Rachel made me a mommy- one of my greatest desires! I love the wonderful family that surrounds me and fills my life with love and laughter. I love my friends who are always there for me. I love my job, working with such great teachers and with so many amazing students. I love the mission that I served and all of the precious memories I have from it. There are so many things that I love about my life, even when there are challenges and the world is falling apart all around me.

I began to think about how I’d want my daughter to love her life too. What would I have to teach her? What would I have to show her? What would I have to do to be a positive example for her? What advice would I give her?

Hillary in her song, writes a lot of great advice for loving your life:

• Listen to your heart as it whispers where you need to go
• Always look up
• Make somebody smile every chance you get
• Don’t forget you’re already enough
• Roll down the windows every now and then
• Give your dreams time
• When you look back over your shoulder, you will love your life

This made me think about what more I could personally do to love my life and be an example for Rachel. As I pondered about this, I have a couple things I want to add to Hillary’s list…

• Put down my phone and live in the moment
• Only compare myself to my previous self and not others
• Take the time to dance
• Find reasons to laugh and enjoy being alive
• Speak kindly to myself
• Speak kindly of others
• Proudly be who I am without fear of judgement or rejection
• Walk in Happiness
• Fill my hear with gratitude

These are just some of the things that I want to improve at so that I can continue to love my life and so that 2021 will be a great year. These are things I want to emulate so that Rachel will grow up learning how to love her life! Afterall, it is the small and simple things that take up the most room in the heart!

What will you do to more fully LOVE your life??

Life’s Greatest Lessons

5 months ago on a beautiful, hot, summer day, I was extremely happy to find a positive sign on a pregnancy test that I had just taken. I couldn’t even believe my eyes! It was a miracle! It was my miracle!! I had to take a second test to verify the special news. Later that evening, I surprised my husband and let him know about the little peanut growing inside me. His reaction was PRICELESS! He was so happy to find out that he was going to be a daddy! I was equally as happy. That day has changed our life forever.

Fast forward to a month ago. We decided to find out the gender of our sweet little baby so that we could talk to it often and think about the future we would want to help give it. We had a friend fill balloons with paint and we had to pop the balloons to find out the gender! After several tries, we finally popped the right balloon as purple paint spewed everywhere. Again, our joy was immeasurable! Heavenly Father was blessing us with a beautiful baby girl- the miracle that our little family needed right now!

As we have been preparing for parenthood, Isaac and I have talked a lot about what we want to teach our baby girl. We want to teach her how to speak and read fluently in two different languages. We want to teach her to love reading and learning. We want her to find hobbies that she is passionate about. We want to teach her to be emotionally independent and how to manage her emotions. We want to help her be as successful as she can be. We want to teach her to be faithful and to love and serve others. We want to help her be outgoing and uplifting. This list goes on and on.

I am sure that all parents go through this- thinking about the future of their little peanut and wanting and wishing for the best life possible for their little one.

Out of all of the many things that we can and will teach our precious baby girl, I think it really comes down to 2 main things- the most important things.

1. She is a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves her more than anything. His love is unconditional and he is always there for her.

I think one of the reasons that this is SO important is because our IDENTITY is so critical for our success in life. “The greatest search of our time is the search for personal identity and for human dignity” (Howard Hunter). Sometimes the search for personal identity is a life long pursuit. However, it is a critical one because it gives us a purpose. It shapes the foundation of our life and everything we do.

I want my daughter to know her identity as our daughter, of course. But more importantly, as a daughter of God. She is in fact His daughter and has been way longer than she will be mine or my husband’s. I am so happy and blessed that I get to be her mother and claim her for this short period of time that we call life. I’ll forever be grateful that my Heavenly Father trusted me enough to watch over and protect his precious little one. But if I am truly to help her be successful and help her build the sturdiest, strongest foundation for her life, I HAVE to teach her who she is. I HAVE to help her understand her identity.

She is God’s Beautiful Daughter.

That knowledge and identity will carry her so far in life. If she knows that she is His, she will always walk through life trusting in Him. She will love and cherish the relationship that she has with others, because she will cherish her relationship with Him. She will seek to spread happiness and joy, because she will find that through Him. I couldn’t give her a better gift than by giving her the gift of knowing, truly knowing, who she is.

2. Jesus Christ is her Savior.

I recently read through all of the titles and names that Jesus Christ is given in all the forms of scripture. There are over 50 something names for this one man. They vary from savior to wonderful, to lamb of God. They range from carpenter to mediator, to wisdom. Each name is specific to a role that he plays in each of our lives. I asked friends on social media to share with me who he is for them. They replied with love, savior, friend, redeemer, brother, example, rock, and strength.

I then began to ponder the question “Who is Jesus Christ to me?” and “Why do I want my daughter to know who He is?”

Jesus Christ to me is love. He is Hope when my world is crashing down around me. He is Peace when I feel nothing but fear or doubt. He is Strength when I am weak. He is my Joy! He is my deliverer when I am stuck and alone. He is Forgiveness when I fail to always follow him. He is my brother and my best friend. He literally saves me every single day. I don’t know who I would be if I didn’t know my Savior.

I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she is NEVER alone. I want her to grow up knowing that she can always turn to Him for peace, love, hope, strength, deliverance, and healing. She will be able to find some of these qualities in my husband and I. However, she’s going to be independent and on her own someday. She won’t always have us by her side. But she WILL always have Him by her side. That knowledge is life changing. I want knowing more than for her to believe in Him, know Him and love Him.

Worship at the Master’s Feet

One of the main ways that children learn is by looking at the example of their parents. You can tell them anything you want to, but they will mostly learn by looking at your actions rather than listening to your words. I have been thinking a lot about what I want to teach my little baby girl and I know that I have to LIVE what I want her to learn.

These two most important life lessons are life-long lessons on a roller coaster ride. There are moments when I know and feel 100% that I am a daughter of God. There are also moments when I doubt and am not perfect at remembering who I am. There are times when Jesus Christ is a part of every single thing I do in life. Then there are moments when I forget to include Him or strengthen my relationship with him.

However, I have a new-found determination to make sure these 2 life lessons are always on the top of my priority list. They bring my life more clarity, happiness and light. And I want my children to be able to see the clarity, happiness and light in my life because of the way that I choose to live. I want them to know that they can have that in their lives too.

I am a daughter of a loving Heavnely Father who never gives up on me and who is always there!

I have a Savior who is at the center of everything I do in my life because He chose to give His life for mine!

And this brings me immense JOY!

Unconditional Love

It is crazy how much life changes when you introduce a little baby into the family. It is a beautiful and fun change.

Holding sweet Rachel for the first time, I instantly knew that my life was forever changed. And that my heart had grown exponentially.

One thing that really changed for me was my relationship with my Heavenly Father. When I held Rachel for that first time, I felt immense love. Immense UNCONDITIONAL love. That was probably one of the strongest times in my life when I really truly felt Heavenly Father’s unconditional love for me.

We go around life loving and being loved. However, we are conditioned to think that love is conditional. That we will only be loved if we do something good first. We lose sight of the fact that we are going to be loved by God NO MATTER WHAT we do. I mean, that is no excuse to do whatever we want. We should want to show him our love and do the best we can. But even when we do screw up and make mistakes, he still and will always love us.

I felt that when I held my baby. I knew that she was going to grow and eventually become independent and probably make choices that I wouldn’t agree with or that would cause me pain. But I knew that I would always love her, no matter what!

Feeling that love helped me understand my God so much more and it helped me experience his love so much more profoundly.

The other day, I was driving with Rachel and we were on our way home. The car ride was 30 minutes long and I was hoping that Rachel would sleep the whole time. Things did not turn out like I had hoped. She screamed the WHOLE car ride home. I was in tears myself because there was nothing I could do or say that would stop her from crying. It was the most horrible feeling. It broke my mama heart!

I tried to talk to her, which made her madder. I tried to sing to her. She was not having it. I tried to hold her hand and drive with my other hand. That did nothing to soothe her. I tried explaining to her why I couldn’t hold her and how she needed to be in the car seat, in the back of the car to ensure her safety. Nothing would soothe my sweet little love and it broke my heart. But I knew that I had to keep her there and that it was the safest place for her to be. I had to leave her there because I loved her!

This made me think about my Heavenly Father. There are times when I am screaming at him. When I am crying because I just want things to be different. I want things to go my way. I want him to do what I want.

He is pained when I do that. It breaks his heart. Because He knows that what He has in store for me is the better, safer route. He knows that His plan will have a greater outcome than mine ever could. He knows that even though it causes me temporary pain, there is something greater to come of it. He does it and deals with it, because He loves me. But He WILL NOT leave me alone through it. He will cry tears with me and try his best to soothe me through the trial. He WILL NOT leave me comfortless.

My love in no way compares to the love of our Heavenly Father. His love is perfect in every way. It is the most pure and unconditional love that ever has existed. He is Love!

Oh, to be loved by Him!! There is nothing greater!

Choose Love

“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved” (Thomas Monson). Wise words from a very wise man. Oh how this counsel is needed right now!!

Social Media and the world around us is filled with such hatred, disgust, unkind words, judgements, and ridicules.

I understand that these times right now are tricky because the election is coming up and people are entitled to their own opinions and have freedom of speech.

Everyone is so agitated and on edge about what the future might bring. In the midst of all of this, we, the people have forgotten how to be human.

We have forgotten how to love. We have forgotten how to use kind words. We have forgotten that a person’s vote does not define their whole person or personality. We have forgotten to love our neighbors, even if we do not agree with them.

It truly makes my heart sad to see what is happening to friendships and what is happening to our communities. Never has there been such a great division with no love at all in the equation. How sad I am to raise my daughter up in a world full of hate, disrespect and unkindness.

Is it naïve of me to think that we can have our different opinions and still get along? Is it wrong of me to believe in a human race that can still show love and kindness to one another even when we don’t agree?

In the bible, the greatest two commandments are based off of love. Love the Lord, thy God, with all of thy heart. And love thy neighbor as thyself.

I get it. Loving someone who we consider our enemy is not easy. It actually feels like quite the impossible. But like Monson said- a person to be loved is more important than a problem to be solved.

There are times in my life when I have been hurt by someone’s unkind words. Or when I have been agitated by someone’s personal decisions. It wasn’t easy for me to love them. Actually, it took me a long time to figure out how to love them.

But the love came. The love came because I was willing to take a step in their shoes. I felt love after I prayed for those people, even when I knew they were causing some waves in my nice, smooth ocean. I felt love after I stopped thinking about fixing the problem and started thinking about the good qualities that these people had. I thank my God for allowing me to see with clearer eyes and to understand with a more open heart.

If we really want to live in a better world, we have to BE the change we wish to see in the world.

I grew up singing a song that went like this: ” I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right, you see. So I say to myself, remember this, Kindness begins with me”.

Although this song is the simplest of songs, its words teach a powerful message. Kindness does begin with me! And it begins with you too!

Showing loving and kindness does not have to be some grand act. It can actually be quite simple.

Kindness is smiling to a stranger that you see at the store.

Kindness is helping someone in need.

Kindness is keeping our thoughts or unkind words in our head when we see a Trump or Biden supporter.

Kindness is not judging the person in the car next to us by the stickers they choose to place on their car.

Kindness is being a friend, even if you may not agree with someone’s ideas or principles.

May we all take a step back from the hatred, the unkind words, and the irrational judgements. May be look to others with love and kindness. May we remember that we are all human and no one is perfect, so lets just love one another.

In a world where we can be anything at all, may we choose to be KIND!!

The Beauty of Letting Go

Holy Moly! It has been a HOT minute!!

I am sorry for being M.I.A. during these last few months. When the corona virus hit and the many months of quarantine, I just got lost in all the madness.

We’ve had quite the year already and it is just September. We have 4 more months to see what 2020 will throw at us. Between the Corona Virus, cancellation of schools and other pastime pleasures, elections coming up, the many fires and natural disasters around the world and all the rioting, it has been easy for anyone to get weighed down with the weight of the world.

It is almost like we are carrying a backpack full of heavy books or rocks everywhere we go. That weight can create an excess of stress and unwanted pain.

When I was meeting with my psychologist a few years back, we did an activity that has since helped me to manage the heavy rocks in my figurative backpack. She had me hold out one of my arms. Each time we talked about a burden or something that was weighing me down, I had to put a book on my hand. Some of these trials included fear, guilt, uncertainty and the inability to love myself. The weight got REALLY heavy! I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to hold up all of those books for a long time.

My psychologist and I talked about what each book represented and how to let it go. We talked about why I was letting it weigh me down and how I needed to let it go to help me more truly be myself. After we talked about each one, I got to take a book off the load. When we got to the last book, my arm was definitely feeling lighter but it was shaking from having all of that pressure on me. Finally, I was able to let go of what that last book represented.

Guess what happened? My arm HURT. It hurt bad!! I was not expecting to feel so much pain when I had taken that last book off.

I learned an important lesson that day. Sometimes letting go HURTS. Say what?!? Yup, you read it right! Sometimes letting go HURTS. In a very real and powerful way. Even when all of those things were weighing me down and causing my arm to shake, it still hurt to let them go. Odd don’t you think? Once we let that load go, shouldn’t we feel like a million bucks?

It made me realize that change HURTS. It is so uncomfortable. Letting go and being weight free comes at a cost. The cost is feeling that pain and discomfort for a while.

But then, the beautiful thing about it all, is that after you experience that discomfort, you get to fly! You get to SOAR! You get to be free of the things holding you back! You get to be who you truly are and LOVE every minute of it!!

I feel like during these last several months, those books were piling up again. Fear, doubt, uncertainty, no answers, boredom, not fulfilling my dream job, lack of social interaction, having to decide who to vote for, a test of my faith, etc. Those books piled on REAL quick. And let me tell you, it was REALLY heavy!!

But I walked around with that weight anyways. It just seemed easier at the time then letting go and having no control. If I kept them in my backpack a little longer, maybe it would get better. Maybe it would turn out like I wanted it too.

Silly right? But how often do we do that to ourselves?! How often are we carrying around unnecessary weight because we are too stubborn to let go?

So I decided I needed to do the book activity again. I needed to think about what each book represented and think about how I could let it go. It is NOT easy and it sure has been uncomfortable. With tears and growing pains all along the way.

But I am starting to free myself from all of that pain, stress and worry again. I am starting to feel FREE! That is truly one of the best feelings ever!!

When we decide to let go of those things that are weighing us down, we can begin to grow and work on ourselves. That is how change works. It is a life long process of letting go of those things holding us down. But in the end, it is ALL worth it! More than worth it!

I can honestly say that these last few months have been hard on me. But they have pushed me and stretched me and helped me to become a better version of myself. Those trying times sometimes turn into the best of times. They turn into a beautiful heartbreak!

“Every fear, every doubt,

All the pain I went through;

Was the price that I paid to see this view;

And now that I’m here I would never trade…The grace that I feel,

And the faith that I find;

Through the bitter-sweet tears,

And the sleepless nights; I used to pray he’d take it all away.

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.”

Hillary WEeks

The Unexpected Beautiful

I never expected 2020 to become the crazy, unique year that it has been. On December 31st, 2019 I was surrounded by family members and my sweet husband. Love and laughter abounded as excitement grew for the new year. I stood there counting down the seconds until 2020. What a remarkable year it would be? I’m sure thats what we all thought…

Now, looking back, we might all agree that the events of 2020 thus far have been nothing but unexpected. We might even agree that it is not our favorite year and can it just be over now? But there is no growth, nor fun in that.

It was unexpected that we would all have to cancel our travel plans.

It was unexpected that thousands of missionaries would have to return home for an intermission.

It was unexpected that schools would close down and teaching would take place online, through zoom calls, google classrooms, and packets.

It was unexpected that graduates wouldn’t be able to walk like they normally do and celebrate in ways that they had always imagined.

It was unexpected that weddings had to change and couldn’t be celebrated as normal.

It was unexpected that we woudn’t be allowed to go to the theater, the park, Disneyland, restaurants, or even to visit our relatives.

It was unexpected that toilet paper and food would go out of stock and that people would go shopping in masses to stock up.

It was unexpected that face masks had to be worn at every event outside the home or that life as we knew it would change.

Every bit of this worldwide pandemic has been unexpected. This virus has taken us out of our comfort zones. Although, most would agree that the comfort zone is the place we like to be, there is no growth or change there. There is no progress and no happiness. Because we were all content with that comfort zone, God- our Heavenly Father- decided to teach us all many incredible lessons.

We shouldn’t take what we have for granted. We should often tell people how much we love them. We should be going about doing service and helping others in need. We should be thanking people that are essential in everyday normalcy. We should think creatively to enjoy time with loved ones. We should take what time we have, and enjoy it. Quarantine should have taught us that we should NOT go back to the way things used to be.

As I was thinking of all that is unexpected, I began to think about how God ALWAYS works in unexpected ways.

It was unexpected that I would marry a man from a different country and fall in love with him through a long distance relationship.

It was unexpected for Isaac to leave his home and culture to come and be with me.

It was unexpected for me to go on a mission when it wasn’t a requirement and when it was something that would put my career on hold.

It was unexpected of my family to do foster care for 12 years and end up adopting 3 more daughters to our already big family.

It was unexpected for me to find the hobby of painting, which I deeply love and enjoy.

And just like that, I began to think of all of the unexpected miracles and blessings in my life.

But the unexpected didn’t start their either. Heavenly Father has been giving us unexpected, yet beautiful experiences ever since the world began.

It was unexpected for Adam and Eve to partake of the forbidden fruit. It was unexpected for the world to flood even after Noah had warned the people. It was unexpected for Jonah to be swallowed up by a whale and to survive that experience. It was unexpected that people would reject and kill God’s prophets. It was unexpected that Heavenly Father sent his son, Jesus Christ, knowing full well that he would suffer and die. It was unexpected for Jesus to be baptized even when he was the only human being to walk the earth that had no sin. It was unexpected for Jesus to heal the blind man or for him to heal a paralyzed man. It was unexpected that Jesus forgave the adulterous woman and that he raised Lazarus from the dead. It was unexpected for Jesus to give his life for us-sinners- and then to rise from the dead.

It is pretty clear that Heavenly Father works in UNEXPECTED ways.

So instead of fretting when things don’t go according to plan. Or instead of doubting and fearing that things aren’t what you expected- Think to yourself:

“What miracle is God going to perform in my life through this unexpected circumstance?”

“What is God trying to teach me because he has given me this unexpected blessing?”

“What am I going to do to grow through this unexpected experience?”

And when you do just that, you will be surprised to see the touch of the master’s hand in your life. You will be surprised to see that God is the mastermind and that he is creating a life for you that has so much more meaning and purpose than the life you could create for yourself. You will be surprised to see how it transforms your life into something truly beautiful– how it transforms YOU into something truly beautiful!

Keep Sunshine Going

Have you ever looked at something and it just took your breath away? Lately, I have been so drawn to sunflowers. They take my breath away and I have this desire to just surround myself with them!

I don’t know why this random obsession with sunflowers just popped up. If you would have asked me a month ago, I would have told you that my favorite flowers are roses and lilies. 

But not today. 

There is a quote that I have seen that is always accompanied with sunflowers. It says “Keep Sunshine Going”. How can these simple flowers keep sunshine going? Especially in the middle of a worldwide pandemic?

These simple flowers have brought some powerful messages into my life…

1. It’s okay to be HAPPY!

One thing that I love about these flowers is their color. They are so vibrant and happy!! Maybe that is why I am drawn to them. So much going around in the world is negative and gloomy. It makes life seem all dark and gray. But then, you see a beautiful, bright yellow sunflower and it instantly brightens up your day. Yellow to me has always been a happy color and these bright yellowed flowers do make me happy!

2. Each sunflower is actually made up of many tiny flowers.

I didn’t know that fun fact about them but I think that this plays a role in why they are so beautiful. Right now we are all struggling with stress and anxiety as we live through a time with so many unknowns. It is hard to go through all of that alone. However, when we all stand together and support one another, we create something truly beautiful. The WHOLE world came together to fast in behalf of the world and the fight against the corona virus. It was amazing to see so many countries, religions, ethnicities, and people come together to fight for a common cause. It brought strength and comfort to us all. We are stronger when we stand together, rather than when we stand alone. That truly keeps sunshine going!

3. Each sunflower contains up to 1,00-2,000 seeds. 

I never thought that I would learn so much about something so simple that just impressed my mind the last couple of weeks. God is so good!! Have you ever wondered what impact you have on the people around you? Sometimes we don’t see what good comes of our actions. Just like sunflowers, we have thousands of seeds that we constantly go about spreading, without even realizing it. We spread seeds when we smile, when we hold the door for someone, when we do a random act of kindness, or even a planned act of kindness. Sometimes we don’t get to see the impact we have, but we do know that we are spreading thousands of seeds every day and that keeps sunshine going.

4. Sunflower in French is “tournesol” which literally means “turn to the sun”.

These beautiful flowers KNOW what they need to grow. In their bud phase, they seek out the sun. They purposely face it. In the morning they will face the East and by the afternoon, they are facing the West. These sunflowers follow the sun wherever it goes. The sun helps them to grow and to become breathtakingly beautiful! Just like the sunflowers need the sun, we also need the Son- a.k.a. the Son of God. We need Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in our lives. We need the reassurance that there is a God that loves us. We need the knowledge that we aren’t just specs in the universe without a purpose. We need the spirit to learn and grow and to develop wonderful personalities. We, without realizing it, also turn to the Son for hope and for strength.

5. Sunflowers, if planted too close together, start competing.

This is such a cool random fact. If you are ever planting these flowers, don’t plant them too close together. They compete with each other and end up losing their full potential. Sometimes we follow that same pattern. We get lost in the game of comparing and thinking that we have to be better than one another. We begin to judge others if we are insecure about something in ourselves. That leads us far away from our true potential. We need to have our own space to grow, without comparisons and competitions. Without judgements and criticism. We have to stand tall and be ourselves. That is what makes us reach our true potential and that increases our own unique beauty.

6. Sunflowers have a history of healing.

They have been used to sooth chest pain in some areas. Other areas use sunflower leaves to treat kidneys. This flower has the power to heal. Fortunately for us, we do too. We might not be able to physically take away someone’s pain. But we can be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. We can pray our hearts out in their behalf. We can be there for them when they need us. That in its own way is a healing power. Our ability to be there for one another keeps sunshine going. 

Can’t you see why I just LOVE sunflowers?!? They are beyond beautiful. Even more than that though, they teach these astounding lessons that help us remember who we are and how we can stand tall and sure. They teach us how to keep sunshine going and how to reach our full potential. 

I am like a sunflower, that is growing everyday. It is up to me to keep sunshine going!

I AM FOUND

A couple of months ago, I went to see the new Frozen II movie. I know, I know. Its a kid movie and it may be childish of me to LOVE it. But I’ll admit it- when it comes to Frozen or any Disney movie, I do become a little kid again. They make me so happy!

Anyways, I was at the theater with my family and of course I had to be sitting next to Jacob, my brother. He is hilarious and he kept me laughing the whole movie. We couldn’t take any of it seriously. But to be honest, when I left the movie, I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t what I had imagined or expected. 

A week later, the 4th graders I work with were going to see the same movie and I thought to myself, why not? I’ve got nothing to lose. At least I can get a good laugh again! But when I watched it the second time, it started to grow on me. 

A week after that, my best friend wanted to go to the theater. I was down to go with her because I mean, movie theater popcorn, count me in! We decided to watch Frozen II again. 

That third time was the charm, even as cliche as that sounds. The third time I saw it, the message of the movie hit me harder than ever. 

I guess when God was trying to speak to me and I didn’t get it the first time, he had to get me there again. And then when I didn’t get the message a second time, he had found another way to get me there. But then BAMB. I got it. And I am ever so grateful for that! I just love the fact that God speaks to us in ways that He knows we will listen… even if it takes 3 tries!

In the movie, Elsa is on a journey to find this voice that is calling out to her. She has to go through many trials and challenges to get to that voice, but she doesn’t give up. But then! She ends up finding the voice and it wasn’t quite what she expected. 

Elsa was searching for someone. She was longing for that someone and she had worked so hard to get there. And then BAMB- SPOILER ALERT!!- Elsa doesn’t find someone, she ends up finding HERSELF! Her mother says “Come my darling homeward bound” and Elsa responds with “I am found!” 

The one person that Elsa needed in her life was herself. 

How many times do we lose ourselves in life? How many mothers work so hard to be a wonderful mother that they lose themselves for their kids? How many people go to work everyday trying to be someone they are not so they can get a promotion or look good for the boss? How many people go through life living someone else’s dream and not their own? How many people become what others expect them to be rather than what they want to be? 

I think finding yourself and loving yourself is one of the bravest things you can do in your life!!

I have been on a journey for the last several years to find myself. There was a part of my life that I sadly lost myself in. I wanted every person that I came in contact with to be happy. I wanted to please every single one of them. I wanted to be the person that I THOUGHT they wanted me to be. 

I lost myself trying so hard to fit in to what I thought everyone wanted, that I didn’t know how to be me. I didn’t know how to love myself.

I was like Elsa. Content with where I was, but knowing that there was something more for me. I was hearing something calling out to me, but not knowing that it was actually me. 

When Elsa sings those three simple words- “I am found”- I can relate to her 100%. I feel like Heavenly Father says to me “Come my darling homeward bound”. And that is how I am found!! The closer that I walk towards my Heavenly Father and my heavenly home, the more that I am found. I feel like my Heavenly Father wanted me to know that its okay for me to be me and for me to love myself. He wants me to be who he created me to be!

The one person that I needed in my life was ME!

I need to be me so that I can be a good wife for my husband. I need to be me so that I can be a good daughter and sister in my family. I need to be me so that I can be a good teacher and a good example to my students. I need to be me so that I can be a true friend. I need to be me so that I can be truly happy.

I AM FOUND!

No. It is not easy to find yourself. Yes. You will go through challenges and trials that test you. Yes. You will feel guilty at times for choosing yourself over what others want. Yes. You may be rejected for being you. BUT, I can guarantee that it is 100% worth it. 

Once you are able to find yourself, everything else will fall into place. Heavenly Father didn’t create you to be just like everyone else. He created YOU to be YOU! 

My Witness

“Week and wounded sinner. Lost and left to die. Oh raise your head for love is passing by. Come to Jesus—come to Jesus. Come to Jesus and live” (Kenneth Cope).

My heart is so full right now. I don’t even know how to put it into words. 

Today, April 5th of 2020, on Palm Sunday, I had the opportunity to participate in the Hosanna Shout, run by President Nelson, the Prophet of the world. I shouted Hosanna- God Save Me– along with millions of people around the world.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the history of Easter week, on the Sunday before Jesus Christ was crucified, he entered back into the city of Jerusalem for what would be the last week of his life. 

The believers and people who loved Jesus welcomed him in a beautiful, sacred way. They gathered palm fronds, a symbol of victory, triumph and peace. They laid their garments on the ground for Jesus to walk upon as he entered the city. They gave him an entrance fit for a king. Because he is literally our Savior and King. Then they shouted “Hosanna to the Son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest” (Matthew 21: 9). This they did because they knew that Jesus was the only one who could save them. 

The believers knew that Jesus Christ was the prophesied Messiah that was going to deliver them and save them. He may not have delivered them in a literal way, but He did come to deliver them from an unseen enemy, from the guilt of sin, and from the pains of death.

In the same way that they welcomed the Savior during his triumphant entrance into Jerusalem, we shouted Hosanna to our Savior, with a white handkerchief, symbolic of the palm fronds, to welcome him in again- for his second coming. 

Wow. Just wow! 

Let that sink in. We just welcomed Jesus in again! We raised our voice in unity for him to save us!! 

In all the history of the world, the Savior ALWAYS came to his people in a time of fear! In ancient Jerusalem, he came when the people were afraid of the Romans; that’s initially who they wanted to be delivered from. He spoke to them and calmed them and taught them. He gave them hope and provided a way for them to have peace. He established His gospel that could save them from sin and from the bands of death.

When Jesus was resurrected and his disciples were distraught and afraid, he visited them to calm and reassure them. He gave them hope that they could continue what he started.

Jesus Christ visited the inhabitants of Ancient America during their time of fear and grief, after experiencing the terrifying signs of his death- earthquakes, fire, thick darkness for 3 days. They were filled with fear, but then He came to them. He calmed their troubled hearts. He spoke peace to their souls and taught them his gospel.

200 years ago this month, when a 14 year old boy was praying in the woods and was seized upon by some unseen force, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Him. They spoke peace to his soul and restored Christ’s true and living Church through this young boy. 

Today, when I am living in a world of fear and chaos, He came to me. Not literally but in a very real way. He touched my heart and whispered to my soul that He is here. That He knows me. That He can heal and strengthen me. 

He is peace. He is hope. He is love. The Lord Jesus Christ is the master healer and the Savior of the world. That knowledge runs through me like a bolt of lightening. I feel it in every fiber of my being. 

Jesus is the Christ. He is here for us in our deepest and darkest struggles. He is the Alpha and Omega. The great I Am. He is the Savior and Redeemer of the whole world. For all the souls that do believe in him. But also to all those who don’t. He is still their Savior and Redeemer! 

I want to shout this on the roof tops and tell the whole world and everyone I love!! 

I glory in MY Jesus. I glory in MY Savior. I glory In MY God! 

“He lives! All glory to his name!

He lives, my Savior, still the same.

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: ‘I know that my Redeemer lives!’”